Supermarket scum

So some arsehole called Leahy ( might have spelled that wrong it could be Spermholder ) purporting to be a big noise in Tesco has crawled up the joint orifice of the two big Cs by claiming to support a minimum price on alcohol. Fine by me. I'll just ensure that the hundred and odd quid per week that my wife expends in his overpriced shops goes to either Netto or our friendly neighbourhood smuggler. If we all took the same course of action it wouldn't stop binge drinking but it could well seriously damage HMRC and have the added avantage of ensuring that the smug bastard gets the order of the boot from his board of directors.
( I forget to mention that poor fellow is concerned about the effects of binge drinking in this country. I bet he sees a lot of that in the leafy glades around his palatial mansion that doubtless has cellars full of fine wines, sherrys, ports etc.)

Statist NHS arrogant and witless oafs,

It is incensed I am. Just tried to download the opt out form so the surveillance society can't put my health records on their all pervasive data base and the bloody printers run out of ink!
The sheer arrogance of these nameless and faceless morons in making me have to opt out of something I have not agreed to is something that requires immediate action from everybody.
Options;
1. Send a plague of festering camel turds to all NHS managers. ( Too many managers and not enough turds )
2. Disband the entire fascist health system. ( Making 'Call me Dave & Nick the Dick ' agree would take time )
3. Change name by deed poll and join BUPA. ( Deed Poll part run by government and therefore too damn expensive )
4. Ring GP practise and demand that they send form enclosing a stamped address envelope.
I'll try option 4 but what's the betting that the surgery has either no forms to send or, tries delaying tactics until they've managed to sneak all the relevant details onto their Chekist database.